Jesus, I'm a fucking mess!

Where do I go from here and where will my choices take me?

I'm so lost...




When do I say enough is enough?

I wake up some mornings & know what I want out of the day then as the day goes on, my thoughts get more foggy, more confused & a lot more about pleasing others. How in the world do I carry that morning sureness into the day? How do I get to the point where I'm happy at night?

Living without meaning,
Sleeping without dreaming,
Seeking without finding,
Slowly I’ve been drowning.

I need time to think. I just need time.. I need to be at peace with my wants... I need to learn I'm worth getting what I want.

My wish list:

1. Be happy with who I am.
2. Have a strong & confident voice.
3. Stop feeling manipulated by people.
4. Stop hating myself for being a doormat for so long.
5. Know myself well enough to be secure with my choices.

Seems simple enough? I realize I need to surround myself with friends who will help me achieve my goals. I don't have room in my life for people who will hold me back.

Random... Confused... Thoughts... Sureness

What do we need out of relationships?
What is healthy?
Attachment vs. Love

Can you see the forest through the tress...

Can the whole picture be seen when you're standing too close...

I've been struggling with myself for a while & I need to come to terms with my needs...

I do have a mind of my own...

My ideal relationship would feel... ???

Saying things makes the thought real.