Jesus, I'm a fucking mess!

Where do I go from here and where will my choices take me?

I'm so lost...




When do I say enough is enough?

I wake up some mornings & know what I want out of the day then as the day goes on, my thoughts get more foggy, more confused & a lot more about pleasing others. How in the world do I carry that morning sureness into the day? How do I get to the point where I'm happy at night?

Living without meaning,
Sleeping without dreaming,
Seeking without finding,
Slowly I’ve been drowning.

I need time to think. I just need time.. I need to be at peace with my wants... I need to learn I'm worth getting what I want.

My wish list:

1. Be happy with who I am.
2. Have a strong & confident voice.
3. Stop feeling manipulated by people.
4. Stop hating myself for being a doormat for so long.
5. Know myself well enough to be secure with my choices.

Seems simple enough? I realize I need to surround myself with friends who will help me achieve my goals. I don't have room in my life for people who will hold me back.